DazedAndOrConfused
Fun Stuff
1.Learn Morse code,
and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely
of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
2.In the memo field for all your checks, write: "for sensual
massage"
3.Stomp on little ketchup packets
4.Sniffle incessantly
5.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI
copyright warnings.
6.Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
7.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
8.Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
9.Honk and wave to strangers.
10.Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
11.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
12.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over
climactic parts of rental movies.
13.Select the same song on the Jukebox 50 times
14.Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front
lawn.
15.Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and
"scan" people with it, announcing the results.
16.At a golf tournament, chant
"swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
17.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary
friend."
18.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
19.Chew on pens you have borrowed
20.Invite a lot of people to other people's parties
21.Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster
speed is necessary because of your "superior mental
processing."
22.Lick the filling out of all the oreos and then put them back
in the package
23.Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
24.Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all
of someones roadmaps.
25.Tie Jingle Bells to all your clothes
26.Ask 1-800 operators for dates
27.Leave your turn signal on for 50 miles
28.Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your
neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
29.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener
it was a "real hoot."
30.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if
people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
31.Wear a special hip holster for your remote control
32.Hollar random numbers while someone is counting
33.Talk only in a robot voice
34.Push all the flat lego peices together tightly
35.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you
hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone
now"
36.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom
of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I
messed it up" and repeat
37.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
parakeet
38.Buy a large quantity of orange cones and re-route streets
39.Insist on having your wind shield wipers running in all
weather conditions to make sure they stay "tuned up"
40.Reply to anything others say with: "That's what YOU
think"
41.Practice making fax and modem noises
42.Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper, 100 copies
43.Finish all your sentences with the words: "In accordance
with prophesy"
44.If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally while talking
to others
45.Follow a few steps behind someone with a Lysol bottle,
spraying everything they touch
46.Drum on every available surface
47.Stare intently at the static on your television set and ask
other people if they see the "magic picture"
48.Sit in a lawn chair in your front yard and point a hair dryer
at passing cars to see if they slow down
49.Never make eye contact
50.Never break eye contact
51.At a fancy restaurant, go around asking everyone for their
parsley
52.Make beeping noises when someone fat backs up
53.Adjust the tinting on your television till all the people are
green and insist to others that you like it that way
54.Sing a long at the opera
55.Make appointments for the 31st of November
56.Pay for your dinner in pennies
57.Ask people what gender they are
58.Decline to be seated at a restaurant and just stand by the
front desk eating the complimentary candies
59.Wear a bicycle helmet everwhere you go and insist to others
that it's for astronaut training
60.Systematically hand-cuff yourself to random peices of
furniture and explain to your neighbors it's becuase you don't
want
to fall of incase "The big one comes"
61.Name your dog "Dog"
62.Specify that your drive through order is "to go"